The loudest ignored teaching of Jesus and the New Testament. “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:4-5, Luke 6:42. Some have suggested this is regarding any individual sin, so if I am not a drunkard, I can point out a drunkard's sin. This however is not the case. This was said to the Pharisees. They we depraved in their heart and not outwardly. If that were true, Jesus would have had no problems with the Pharisees putting down all of the sinners who followed him. But because even the Pharisees had depraved hearts, they should not be trying to pick out anyone's speck.
Often times Christians (myself included) get delusions of grandeur and place ourselves on a pedestal as if we are the keepers of what is right and wrong. In reality, we were always meant to focus on our own sins and not others. That was the problem Jesus had with the Pharisees. They felt like they were the judges of who was righteous and who was not. And the Pharisees were a very exclusive club for the “righteous.” Jesus constantly fought with them because of how they treated others.
Paul was once a Pharisee, which makes the chapter I am about to go into even more surprising. I was listening to some commentary today and they used Romans to suggest that homosexuals deserve death. Quoted by itself, it sounds very damning but in reality, it is no more damning than the rest of Romans is to every Christian. Every sinner deserves death and everyone is a sinner (Romans 3).
When we point out someone else's sin, it is very much like a prisoner making fun of another prisoner for what they did to get in prison. It does not really matter how they got there, they are both in the same place.
Now it is time to blow the mind of all those letter of the Law people. Sin is different for every person. If you read the 14th chapter of Romans, this fact is inescapable. He spends the entire chapter explaining that some people can eat meat sacrificed to idols and it is not a sin. While for other people if they eat the same meat will sin. Some people would sin if they did not celebrate certain days while others would sin if they did celebrate the same days.
James even agrees with Paul here. “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” James 4:17. The spirit of the Law is written on our hearts and God has written His own unique writing on each of our hearts to serve God’s purpose.
To top it off, Paul instructs those who eat and those who do not eat to not try to change the other believer’s practices (Romans 14:22). Both are following God’s conviction and if they did contrary to their conviction they would be sinning.
Why? Because the Holy Spirit convicts us. Not you, not me, not the Law, the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin (John 16:8). For us to decide that it is our job to convict someone of sin is to suggest the Holy Spirit is not doing a good enough job and needs our help.
We are to point people to Jesus Christ. When the Holy Spirit comes into their life, He will convict them as He sees fit. It is impossible to receive the Holy Spirit and not be convicted, but what they are convicted of is between them and God.
Does this mean God can convict people of contradictory things? Possibly, but I tend to think there are things God chooses simply not to convict people of. But the important thing is that we understand that these convictions are given to us personally and not to others. We should not be condemning people for their sins. Jesus came to this world to save it, not to judge it (John 3:17). How can we possibly say it our job to judge it when even Jesus who has such authority, chose not to?
"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification." -Romans 14:19
Word of caution
If anyone read this and thought, "cool, I get to make up my own mind if something is a sin or not" then you did not read this correctly. The Holy Spirit convicts us, not us. If we are only convicted about things we want to be convicted about, then we are not being convicted by the Holy Spirit.
So when do we confront someone?
Both Jesus (Matthew 18:15-17) and Paul (1 Corinthians 5) do point out there are times when we should confront a brother or sister in Christ. First of all, they should be a Christian. If they are not, then we should not say anything. If they are outside of Christ, then it is not our job to tell them anything regarding sin (1 Corinthians 5:12).
Second, it should be something obviously a sin. Paul confronts a member of the Corinthian church about sleeping with his mother-in-law. Something that would have been appalling even for non-Christians. If you feel like you should criticize someone's music selection, you have missed the point. It is only in extreme cases that confrontation is needed.
